


Can't Take Back the Damage Done

by romanticalgirl



Series: Crowded Room [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Non-Serum Steve Rogers, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, eventual James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 08:15:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18245945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: Things go wrong. And then wronger. Sam is wise. Steve is bad at this. Bucky is worse. Tony is the voice of reason.No. Really. Tony is the voice of reason.Idiots are idiots. Feelings are had and ignored. Feelings are denies, because they are idiots. And continue to be so. And assholes. They're also assholes. Who are dumb.





	Can't Take Back the Damage Done

“Steve, you _asshole_!”

Steve stumbles into the kitchen wearing a white t-shirt that’s slightly too big for him, flannel pajama bottoms, and bright orange socks. He puts his glasses on and blinks at Bucky. Bucky’s about to start a diatribe when he realises that under his flyaway mess of bedhead, Steve’s _looking_ at him.

Steve can’t quite help it. Bucky’s shirtless, barefoot, and wearing a pair of basketball shorts, the waistband just beneath his nearly healed wound. He takes an involuntary step closer, then stops.

“You, uh, bellowed?”

Bucky ignores the sleep-thick sound of Steve’s voice and tries to focus on his annoyance. “Where are they?”

“Where are what?”

Bucky advances on him, and feels the thrill when Steve doesn’t back away. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what.”

“You know, given the host of things you’ve blamed me for since I started staying here, I really don’t.”

“Where. Are. My. Cookies.” He punctuates each word with a poke to Steve’s chest.

“Ah. Would those be the cookies that we have discussed ad nauseum are not breakfast?”

“I am an adult. I can eat cookies for breakfast if I want to.”

“ _You_ are a child.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Bucky growls. “I’ll have ice cream.” He catches Steve’s look as he starts to turn, and narrows his eyes suspiciously. “What did you do to my ice cream, Steve?”

“There’s cereal in the cupboard. I even made sure it has marshmallows. But sugar is just empty calories.” He shrugs, his mouth in a sly smile. “And you’re a growing boy.”

Bucky doesn’t want to think about other ways that he wouldn’t mind hearing Steve say that, because he is _not_ interested. “You’re _half_ my size. And I’m an adult. God. When are you going home?”

“You have your last check-up tomorrow, and it seems like you’re pretty much healed. So,” Steve shrugs. “Tomorrow night.”

Bucky frowns. “Oh.”

“And your schedule is clear for the next week, so Tony suggested I take a few days off to decompress from, and I’m quoting here, the Winter Sourpuss.”

“You’re taking time off?”

“Don’t worry.” Steve reaches out and, against all of his reason, pats Bucky on the bare chest, careful not to curl his fingers. “You can handle it. You’re an adult, remember?”

**

Bucky lets himself into Natasha’s apartment, catching the knife before it hits him, automatically throwing it back.”

“You guys play the weirdest games of catch.”

Bucky ignores Clint. “I have a problem.”

“Let me guess.” She examines her nails, holding them up to the light, before giving her hand back to Clint to work on. “Five foot five. Starts with St- and ends with –eve?” Bucky frowns at her, lips pressed tightly together. She waves her free hand. “You’ve had a problem with Steve since the beginning. And you had a legitimate chance and reason to fire him, and you didn’t. No one wants to hear about your crush anymore.”

“The whole pining thing is getting old.”

Buycky glares at Clint. “Who’s pining? No one’s pining. What the fuck?”

“Right. Of course not. Is that why you’re hiding out here instead of in your apartment while he has company?”

“He has someone in my apartment?” Bucky snaps. “He’s only here for a week. What? The first time he got caught wasn’t enough?”

He storms out of Natasha’s apartment and takes the stairs to his floor. This is unacceptable. This is going to get Steve’s ass fired.

“Rogers!” He should as he walks in, slamming the door hard behind him.

Steve walks out of the guest bedroom closely followed by a far-too attractive by Bucky’s judgement black man. Steve narrows his eyes immediately as he stops and crosses his arms over his chest. “Yes, Mr. Barnes?”

Bucky growls. He thought they’d gotten past that. “Why the hell is there someone here – and in my guest bedroom no less – while you’re supposed to be working? I thought you’d just split up with that Mark jackass, and you’ve been with me all week. When did you have time to find this guy?”

“Okay. I’m gonna go. I’ll be at your place, Steve.”

“Thanks, Sam.” Steve gives Sam a hug, his voice soft. He very pointedly doesn’t look at Bucky. Bucky huffs and glares at Sam until he shuts the apartment door behind himself. He turns back to yell at Steve, but Steve is right there, right in Bucky’s personal space, head tilted up slightly . He snarls at Bucky. “I quit.”

“What?”

Steve jabs Bucky in the chest hard. “Fuck. You. I. Quit.”

“You can’t quit!”

Steve shoves him, though it doesn’t manage to make Bucky move. “Watch me, you asshole.” He shoves Bucky again, hard enough that Bucky steps to the side this time. Steve storms past him. Bucky turns and watches him stalk to the door, grabbing his jacket and walking out.

By the time Bucky actually thinks to follow him, the elevator is already gone.

**

The door opens and Sam shifts uncomfortably, doing his best to pretend that the Winter Soldier isn’t glaring at him.

“Um, hey. Sam Wilson.” He holds out his hand, but Barnes doesn’t move to take it, and finally Sam lets it drop. “Okay. So. I think maybe you got the wrong idea the other day.”

“So you weren’t some guy I didn’t know who came out of Steve’s bedroom looking messy?”

“Messy?” Sam asks, one eyebrow quirked.

“Disheveled.”

“Okay, well. Yeah. Obviously I’m that guy.”

“Well, then. Guess I didn’t get the wrong idea.” He starts to shut the door and Sam sighs and shoves it back open, obviously surprising Barnes.

“I’m Steve’s college roommate.”

“So?”

“So that’s all. We’re not dating. I happen to have a car, so I was carting Steve’s stuff home so he didn’t have to haul it on the subway.” He watches Barnes’s brow furrow, and can practically see him processing Sam’s words, see them resolve into understanding.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, dumbass.”

“Hey.”

“What?” Sam raises both eyebrows sharply. “You gonna tell me you _weren’t_ a dumbass? Or should I be calling you something stronger? Because I’ve got plenty of other names for you. Some pretty choice ones, in fact.”

“Yeah. Okay. Dumbass isn’t as bad as it could be.”

“ _Should_ be.” Sam shakes his head in a combination of annoyance and concern. “Steve liked this job. Liked working here and, even though he bitched non-stop, he actually liked you.”

“I…”

“And the fact that you accused him of something he said would never happen, and basically said he was lying?”

“I wasn’t… I didn’t…”

“I don’t give a shit what you weren’t or what you didn’t. You fucked up. That’s all that matters.” Sam hands Barnes the folder he’s been holding, the marks from his fingers leaving prints behind on the laminated plastic. “Here.”

“What’s this?”

“A letter of recommendation that you’re gonna sign. I wrote it myself, so I know it’s good. And probably less than Steve deserves.”

It’s been five days since Steve stormed out, and Bucky’s hated every one of them. “I want to un-fire him.”

“You think he wants to work for you again? Man, why would he?”

Bucky swallows against the panic clogging his throat. “I’ll apologize.”

“What?” Sam huffs an incredulous laugh. “’Hey, man. Sorry, Steve. I know I accused you of being a liar and a cheater, and someone who just fucks around, but come back to work for me’? That what you’re going with? And, while we’re at it, Steve can sleep with anyone he wants, even if it’s six people in a night. Nothing wrong with it, and it sure as fuck isn’t your business.”

“Look, maybe I overreacted.”

“Yeah? Maybe? Overreacted? That’s what you’re calling it? Because I think you were a fucking asshole who hurt my friend and made him feel like shit. So , you want to try and make something good out of the mess you made? Sign the damn letter and leave him the fuck alone.” Sam reaching into the breast pocket of his shirt. “Here’s a pen.”

**

“Samuel Wilson, you’d better be here with lunch and not with some bullshit story that’s going to end with me being pissed that you talked to Barnes, because we fucking _discussed_ that.” He opens the door and freezes. “Mr. Barnes.”

“Can we talk?”

“No.” Steve shuts his door in Bucky’s face and fights to keep his breathing under control. He leans against the wood for support, not wanting to admit that he’s listening for Bucky’s steps. Which don’t come.

“So.” Bucky sighs, his head making a thumping sound on the door just above where Steve’s is resting. “I fucked up. A lot. I said and implied things that were none of my business and totally out of line. I reacted badly. And I was a dick.”

Steve clears his throat. “And when are you planning on telling me something I don’t know?”

Bucky sighs loud enough for Steve to hear it. “I’m sorry.”

“And you think that makes everything okay?”

“No. I mean, I’m hoping it does?”

Steve snorts.

“Right. Well.” Bucky sighs again. “Worth a shot?”

Steve takes a deep breath, trying to calm his jumping nerves, and lets it out slowly. He pushes off the door and turns, opening it. Bucky sways forward since he’d apparently been leaning against it, but he catches himself on the door frame. Steve looks at his neighbors’ doors, which are shut, but he wouldn’t be surprised if they were listening. “I’m probably going to regret this, but come in.”

Bucky edges inside, obviously being careful not to touch Steve. He walks over to the same chair he’d sat in what feels like months ago, perching on the edge. Steve sits on the couch and looks at him. Bucky knows he looks rough. He hasn’t shaved for the five days since Steve quit, and he’s only taken a shower once, right before coming over.

Steve knows he doesn’t look too much better. He doesn’t really grow facial hair, but he hasn’t slept much since that day at Bucky’s, spending most of his time looking for a job. And absolutely not thinking about Bucky.

“Surprisingly, or not, the most well-known and prolific assassin in history firing you reflects really really badly on you. I mean, if even _that_ guy doesn’t like you…”

“Sam did come by. And explained.”

“He shouldn’t have. He had no business doing that. You weren't willing to listen at the time, and that means the last thing you’re owed is an explanation.”

“You don’t owe me anything. But I owe you a huge apology. And I don’t know that I can ever say I’m sorry enough.”

“Tell me, does it physically hurt to have to do this?”

“Just a twinge.” He gives Steve a small smile. “Maybe a little more.”

“What if I stab you to make it worse?”

“As long as you don’t go for the jugular or femoral artery, we could probably arrange something.”

Steve shrugs. “Wouldn’t really do anything, I guess.”

“Aw, c’mon. You could literally stab me in the back. Or be a pain in my side. Or my ass.”

“Not how I like to be a pain in the a-“Steve cuts himself off, flushing bright red. Bucky’s eyebrows go up and, despite his obvious embarrassment, Steve glares at him as Bucky clearly fails to hide his amusement. Steve straightens up. “You think it’s funny?”

“What?”

“That. That… Scenario. That I…”

“Top?” Bucky laughs. “Steve, you are the bossiest little shit. You either actually top or you top from the bottom. Either way, you’re a pain in the ass.”

Steve relaxes and his lip quirks up into the hint of a smile then he shrugs. “Most people look at me and-“

“I know. I’ve never had a single person believe I bottom.”

“You let me boss you around. You’re nothing but a bottom.”

“Hey, you spend seventy years brainwashed and see if you don’t get used to people telling you what to do.”

“Bullshit. Nothing about you is obeying. You give in.” Steve blinks, suddenly aware of the conversation they’re having. “Um.”

“Okay, yeah.” Bucky’s face feels warm and he shifts slightly, falling back into the chair. He glares at Steve as he starts laughing. “I’m buying you a new damn chair.”

“I like that chair.”

Bucky snorts. “You ever sit in it?”

“No. But it’s an endless source of amusement.”

“So you’re a sadist too.”

“Hey, you’ve been warned. Not my fault you don’t listen.” Steve stands and walks over, offering his hand to Bucky. His eyebrows go up, making it a dare. Either Bucky takes his hand or says something about Steve’s strength.

“Not afraid I’ll pull you in here with me?”

“Then you’d have to get up out of the chair with my weight on top of you.”

Bucky grins wickedly. “I think I can handle you on top of me.”

Steve returns his grin with a smirk. “Sure of that, are you?”

Bucky grabs Steve’s hand and yanks him forward. Steve goes down on his knees, settling them on either side of Bucky’s thighs. “See? Alive and well.”

“Gonna be hard to get up.”

Bucky puts his hands under Steve’s thighs and lifts him up before standing. Steve’s pressed against him as he lets him slide down – too slowly too close. “Not hard at all.”

Steve looks up at him, eyes hooded. His body is still pressed against Bucky’s, and his voice is deep. “Liar.”

Bucky tightens his grip on Steve’s hips. Licking his lips, he swallows hard before bending his head until their breath is close and warm between them. “Are you letting me un-fire you?”

Steve darts his tongue out to wet his lower lip. “Are you going to tell Tony to give me a raise?”

“You could move back in. Not have to pay rent.” Neither of them have moved, every word ghosting against their lips.

“I don’t know. You’re kind of a shitty roommate.”

“I’m not!”

“You’re right,” Steve laughs, close enough that Bucky can taste it. “No kind of in there.”

“Ouch.” He slips his hands under Steve’s shirt, curling his fingers into the belt loops on Steve’s jeans and rubs his thumbs over his skin. “You’re terrible for my ego.”

“I’m supposed to be. My job is to keep you in line.”

Steve’s face is slightly out of focus given how close Bucky is to him. Any closer and they could call it a kiss. “Think of how much easier that would be if you were there all the time.”

“Is that what this is about?” Steve’s voice hasn’t changed, but there’s something different in his demeanor that sends a chill up Bucky’s spine. “You want me to move in so I pretty much have to work for you because I won’t have a place to go back to?”

“What?”

Steve steps back before Bucky can, putting significant distance between them. “In the entire course of my employment – hell, my acquaintance – with you, you’ve treated me as a nuisance that Stark sicced on you and wouldn’t let you get out of. You’ll understand why I find this sudden change so hard to believe.”

“You think this is some ploy?”

Steve shrugs. “I’ll consider the job offer, Mr. Barnes. I have an interview this afternoon. If that doesn’t work out, I’ll let FRIDAY know my decision.”

“I wasn’t… Jesus, Rogers. I’m not _that_ much of an asshole.”

Steve looks at him, expression clearly disbelieving. “I’d say that’s up for debate.”

Bucky huffs. “Fine. In the meantime, I’ll have FRIDAY line up some applicants. What’s your buddy – what was his name? – Mark. Mark’s number? Bet he’d love the job.”

Steve looks stunned for a second then it disappears as he tightens his jaw, turns on his heel, and stalks to the kitchen. He rips a piece of paper from a tablet and unlocks his phone, scrolling through until he stops and starts writing.

Bucky’s long strides cover the distance in two steps. He takes the pen out of Steve’s hand and snaps it in two. “I’m not hiring your ex-boyfriend, fuck-buddy, whatever he was.”

“Why not?” Steve asks through clenched teeth, hurt and angry all at once. “He’d clearly love to be there for you. Probably have no trouble getting him to move in. And I can assure you his… Service is adequate.”

“Wow. You really don’t think much of me at all, do you?”

“It’s mutual, right?”

“You know, I just wanted to give you your fucking job back. I fucked up! I know it! I’m trying to fix it! I _know_ I suck at it.”

“Are you doing it because of that, or because Sam talked to you?”

“Cut me some fucking slack here.”

“Why?” Steve cocks an eyebrow and nods toward the door. “I need to get ready for my interview.”

“You are the most stubborn, bull-headed, intractable-“

“Those all mean the same thing.”

“I _know_ that. I was being descriptive and eloquent.”

“See, I assumed you were trying to be insulting, but I take all of that as a compliment, so you fell short, I’m afraid.”

Bucky slams his hand down on the counter. It’s his flesh hand, so it’s loud, but not destructive. “Someone needs to put you over their knee.”

“Not my fantasy.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t implying you should like it. But you need someone to teach you to give a little. Not everyone’s the same fucking saint Steve Rogers is.” Bucky shakes his head. “You know what? Fine.”

“Fine.” Steve crosses his arms over his chest.

“Fine.”

“Are you a child?” Steve snaps.

“Get a new job then. I don’t give a fuck.”

“Good. I will.”

“Good!” Bucky slams his hand down again. “I signed your letter of recommendation. So you shouldn’t have to worry about them turning you down because you worked for an assassin, because that’s all they care about, right? Not that I’m an Avenger. Just what I did when I was brainwashed.” Bucky shakes his head, not about to have that conversation. “Fuck this.”

“Very mature.” 

Bucky points at Steve. “Fuck you.”

Steve smirks again, and the urge to smack it – or kiss it – off his face is almost too much for Bucky. “ _Very_ mature.”

“I’ll make sure FRIDAY gets your last paycheck to you as soon as possible.” Bucky glares at him, practically snarling. “Try not to end up working for the Nazis again.”

“Barring the health plan, it was a lot better working for them!” Bucky just stares at him, and Steve feels his cheeks heat up. “You can leave any time, Mr. Barnes.”

“Gladly.” Bucky turns on his heel and stalks to the door. He jerks it open, pulling it clear off his hinges. He slams it onto the floor and walks through the hole it left. He pulls his phone out of his pocket as he starts for the stairs. “FRIDAY, Rogers needs a new door. As close to now as possible. He’s got _plans_. An _interview_.”

Steve doesn’t hear FRIDAY reply as Bucky thunders down the stairs. Steve moves to the broken doorway and stands there, watching Bucky go. “Shit.”

He rests his head on the jamb, careful to avoid the splinters sticking out. He hears the front door of the building slam shut and then screech of Bucky’s bike as he speeds away. He’s still standing there when Sam clears the landing, looking a mixture of stunned and confused. He’s holding his shoulder.

“He gives new meaning to the term ‘brick shithouse’. Actually, I think I’ve run into bricks that were softer than that.” He gives Steve a knowing look. “So. That is not the mostly chill dude I met earlier today.”

“You shouldn’t have been around him earlier today.”

“Letter of reference. We both know you’re gonna need it if your interviews so far are any indication.” He motions over his shoulder with his thumb. “So what’d you do?”

“Why does it have to be that I did something?”

“Because I’ve met you.”

He’s the asshole.”

“No, Steve. He’s _an_ asshole. So are you.”

“He… It… It was just too much, okay?”

Sam steps over the door and walks to the couch. He’d fallen prey to the chair once and learned his lesson. Steve leans against the chair and tries to avoid Sam’s gaze, but the apartment is apparently too small to escape Sam’s judgement.

“He was nice.” Steve sighs and looks down at the floor. “We talked about sex.”

“I’m sorry, you what? I know you did not just say that you talked about sex with your _boss_.”

“Ex-boss. And it came up naturally!”

“I’m not even going to take the easy joke there. _How_?”

“We were talking about stabbing.”

“With your _dick_?”

“He said I was a pain in the ass, and…”

“Oh my _god_.”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen!”

“I cannot believe you. So then what? He flipped out?”

“Um. No?”

“Steven Grant Rogers, do not make me keep trying to pry this story out of you because I assure you, you will regret it more than anything you’ve ever regretted in your life.”

“Fine. We were talking-“ At Sam’s look, Steve sighs and hunches his shoulders. “Flirting.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It was… He wanted me to keep an eye on him. Move in. It was… Fuck, Sam.” Steve groans and sinks to the floor, sitting cross-legged. “I don’t know what to do. What I’m doing.”

“Did he say you had to do that to get the job?”

“No.”

“But he offered you the job back.”

“Yes.”

“You like the job?”

“Yes.”

“You like him.”

“No. He’s an entitled asshole and a jerk.”

“Fine,” Sam sighs, put-upon. “You like working for him because he gives you shit and you get to give it right back.”

Steve pauses before answering. “Yes.”

“So take the job.”

“But what about…”

“You keep it in your pants. And you tell him to do the same. I can’t believe I have to tell you not to screw your boss.”

“Technically, Tony Stark’s my boss.”

Sam raises an eyebrow and give Steve the most unimpressed look he’s ever seen. “Don’t screw him either.” He holds up a hand before Steve can speak. “And if he _does_ make the job contingent on you living there? It’s definitely a job you’re better off not having.”

Steve sighs and looks down at the floor. “Tell me what to do, Sam.”

“I just _did_.” Sam shakes his head. “Go to your interview. I’ll stay here until someone comes to fix that. Though if you do keep working for Barnes, someone needs to tell Stark to invest in a door company.”

Steve gives a small laugh before he gets up and heads to his bedroom to get ready. “Thanks, Sam.”

“And tonight, we’re going out. I’m going to be the best wingman ever and we are getting you laid.”

“Sam.”

“ _Laid_ , Steve. You like getting laid. You’re good at it.”

Steve narrows his eyes. “This better not secretly be another blind date.”

“Would I do such a thing?” Sam tries, but he can’t even manage to say it with a straight face. Steve just shuts the bedroom door.

**

Steve sighs and stares up at the phallic monstrosity that is Avengers Tower. Instead of helping, Bucky’s letter of recommendation had led to a slew of questions about the Avengers rather than about Steve. He’s mustering up his courage to cross the street and go inside when someone steps up, standing far too close to him.

“Ostentatious, isn’t it?” Steve glances over to find himself staring into Tony Stark’s sunglasses. “Of course, that’s my default setting.”

“I’d noticed.”

Tony smiles widely, as if he’s pleased. “He has been a very grumpy Bucky-Bear since you left. He has beaten the gym _and_ the training room into submission.” Tony stuffs his hands in his pockets. “You coming back to work? Because I gotta say, when I suggested some time off, this isn’t quite what I was going for.”

“Me either.”

“I know he can be overbearing. Ha. See what I did there? With the whole nickname and the – No? No. Right. But he’s mostly a good guy. Bad at social, but at least he’s potty-trained.”

Steve returns Tony’s smile with one of his own before turning back toward the Tower. “I don’t know.”

“Pretty sure you’d have noticed by now if he wasn’t.”

“I don’t know if I can work with him.”

“If you can’t, you can’t. But you’ve been good for him. Humanized him a little. Less murder cyborg and more murder person.”

“And that’s improvement?”

“Something like it.”

He shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“Oh! This is about the sexual tension thing, isn’t it?”

“The what?” Steve chokes out, feeling the blush climbing up his face. “There’s not…”

“Please, Rogers. Do not bullshit a bullshitter. If that’s all this is about, I can do what I did for Pepper.”

“Step down and make her president of the company so you could date? “

“First,” Tony’s voice takes on a steely quality. “She earned the presidency through hard work. Second, I stepped out of the role because I didn’t want to deal with the daily shit. I’m not good with it. I’m more R&D, but yeah. That was also largely for the dating thing.”

“You making one of us president of the company doesn’t help at all. In fact, I’m thinking that, on the whole, I’m not what Stark Industries is looking for.”

“Sure it is! I’ve seen what you do for him. You can be my secretary. Keep me in line so Pepper doesn’t have to.”

“Does anyone other than Ms. Potts actually have that ability?”

“Not so far.”

“I think I’ll pass then. You’d wreak havoc on my performance reviews and prospective advancement.”

“No. I’d give you glowing reviews.”

“Ms. Potts wouldn’t.”

“Okay.” Tony says with a shrug and a grin. “That’s fine. So that leaves us with Barnes.”

“Those are my only two options?”

“Pretty much.”

“Tough job market.”

“Ain’t it though?” Tony nods toward the Tower. “Well?”

“I should at least talk to him I suppose.”

“Probably. Also he really likes the fudge dipped peanut butter cookies at the coffee shop. Just order them and have them put it on my tab.”

“You have a tab?”

“No. I just give them money every month.”

“So you have a tab, but you don’t care how much it is.”

“You’re a pedantic little shit. He must hate that. I should send Hydra a thank you note for letting me steal you away. Of course, if I knew where to send it, we’d have to go kick their ass, and that would probably negate the sentiment. Ah well.” He wraps his arm around Steve’s shoulders and starts tugging him to the door. “C’mon. Now I want a cookie too.”


End file.
